


Stranded

by BlueMoose86



Series: Toni Character Study [1]
Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Background Relationship, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Gen, I'm not even sure if that's the right tag, Mild Sexual Content, No archive warning but Jeanette dies so, POV First Person, Shoni is wayyy in the background but I thought I would tag it anyway, That's the right one lol, They mention it but nothing happens ofc, Toni Centric, but oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28963767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoose86/pseuds/BlueMoose86
Summary: Toni was supposed to be in Hawaii, not stuck on some fucking deserted island searching for her best friend, hiking through the woods with the token white Christian girl, or burying a fucking body.Or, a rewrite of S1E1 of The Wilds focused on Toni's POV.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Series: Toni Character Study [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124405
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	1. Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Long time reader, first time poster here. I watched The Wilds a while ago and I'm absolutely obsessed, and since I have a lot of free time on my hands due to covid, I thought this would be a good fandom to break into fanfic writing. Toni is definitely my favorite of the girls and I really wanted to do a deep dive into her character and thought process. This is the first work in a series I'll be doing about her point of view during different scenes in the show. There won't really be a lot of "original" scenes or interactions, but I'm planning on writing some separately. Hope y'all like it.

Gone. Gone. Gone. Fucking gone.

"Martha!”

Marty was gone, and I had no idea where she was. Fuck, I didn’t even know where _I_ was, let alone how I got here. Not that I gave a shit. All that mattered was that I had been clinging to Martha when the shit show started, bracing to shield her from the impact, and now she was gone.

“Marty!” I yelled again, pushing my voice as loud as it could go. My stomach responded by churning my half-digested cake until I doubled over and vomited onto the sand. I spat out the rest and wiped my mouth. Stupid fucking cake.

I scanned the horizon, hoping that I wouldn’t see a familiar face bobbing among the waves. The water was empty, but a cold weight still sat on my chest. I looked out again and it hit me: I was alone. Completely and utterly fucking alone. I hadn’t felt that in a long time. Not since ... 

My mind spun. Fuck, what if no one else landed in this fucking hellhole and I really _was_ alone? What if I was just gonna die here? And fuck, what if Marty … what if she–

I fought down the wave of nausea that swelled at the thought. No. I couldn’t. I could lose everything else in my life–hell, I _had_ lost everything else in my life–but I would NOT lose Marty too. No fucking way. “Martha!”

Just as I was about to shout again, I heard a rustling sound. I strained to listen closer and realized it wasn’t rustling, but footsteps. Holy fuck. “Marty?” I shouted. _Please, please, please–_

“Hey!” someone yelled back. It wasn’t Marty, but maybe it was someone who found her. I sprinted down the beach, and when I rounded the corner I came face to face with a girl with short brown hair, a striped shirt, and cargo pants. One of the Texans, maybe. Fuck, I didn’t know and I didn’t care. She wasn’t Marty, so I kept running.

“Woah!” the girl said, grabbing my shoulders before I plowed into her. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

I gritted my teeth. “Get the fuck off me!” I yelled, twisting out of the girl’s grip. I craned my neck to see further down the beach. “Martha!”

“Hey, hey, wait!” the girl exclaimed, grabbing me again to stop me from running off.

God damn it, I didn’t have _time_ for this. “I said, fuck OFF!” I shoved her away. She almost tripped over a nearby rock, but she managed to stay standing.

She held up her hands. “I just think it’s a better idea to stick together right now. And, you know, conserve energy. We have no idea what we’re dealing with here.”

“I don’t fucking care. I need to find Marty,” I growled.

“Look, your name is Toni, right? I’m Dot, and–”

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! I NEED TO FIND MARTY!”

Dot stumbled back, mouth open. Before she could say anything else that I would ignore, we heard a voice coming from the ocean: “Help!”

We whirled around. The voice still wasn’t Marty’s, but there were two figures in the water, and one looked like it wasn’t moving. I tried to swallow the growing lump in my throat, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t fucking breathe. _No_ , I begged. _Please no, not her too._

“Hey!” Dot yelled. She raced down to the beach and I followed suit. “I see you! We see you!” We ran into the water, with Dot yelling “hey” a few more times as we got closer.

My heart pounded in my chest as I ran. I tried to remind myself that it could be someone different. It didn’t have to be her. There were still, what, five other people it could be? But no matter what, I had to see. I had to be there.

I had to know.

Dot reached the girls first. “I got her!” she yelled as she grabbed the shoulders of the unconscious girl–Asian and wearing a purple sweater, definitely not Marty–and started pulling her to shore.

I glanced at the other girl. I already knew she wasn’t Marty, but maybe she’d seen her out there. I leaned around Dot. “Is there anybody else out there?” I yelled at the conscious girl.

She didn’t answer. Her bright blue eyes were wide, probably from shock, but I didn’t have the time or patience to be gentle. “Think! Did you see anybody?” I demanded again. I grabbed the girl’s shirt to make her focus, accidentally pulling her to the shore.

“I didn’t,” Blue Eyes finally sputtered. “I didn’t see anybody.”

Fuck. I resisted the urge to scream at her again, but only barely. God fucking damn it, Martha, where the hell were you?!

“Toni!” Dot called out to me. Damn it. I grabbed the unconscious girl’s legs and helped Dot take her ashore. As I adjusted my grip, I tilted my head to look down the beach. There were two people walking towards us, one of which had a very familiar outfit on.

I dropped the girl’s legs. “Martha!” I screamed. I sprinted through the surf as fast as I could. Marty was limping along with the help of some girl that I didn’t give a flying fuck about because I _found her_.

“Toni!” Marty yelled back, sounding just as relieved as I felt. The weight on my chest disappeared. It felt like years since I had heard that voice. Martha’s voice. I never wanted to go without it again.

I crashed into her, practically shoving the other girl aside. I gripped her like she was a lifeline, the only solid thing in the universe because to me, she was. She was the only fucking thing I had–in Minnesota, in wherever the fuck we had all ended up, in the entire goddamn world.

I pulled away, but only enough to look into her eyes. “That’s the last time you ghost on me,” I said, my voice even hoarser than usual. I cupped her face in my hands and then rested them on her shoulders.

“I’m okay!” Martha exclaimed. “I’m fine, seriously. Shelby’s been …” Martha glanced over at the blonde girl who had been helping her and smiled. “Shelby’s been amazing.”

I looked over at the girl–Shelby. I recognized her instantly. She was one of the Texans, and she looked exactly like the kind of basic bitch that I couldn’t stand, with the whitest fucking name I’d ever heard. And she thought it was okay for her white ass to say “powwow.” Little Miss Ice Breaker.

Shelby flashed me a too-white grin. I glanced at her outfit–the same white shorts and denim jacket she had on the plane, but her multicolored flower bra was exposed without her yellow shirt. It really pissed me off for some reason. I had no idea why, but I didn’t care enough to fight it. “What the fuck are you wearing?” I spat.

Shelby didn’t answer. Marty pulled me back in for a tighter hug, and all my anger melted away. I buried my head in her shoulder, reminding myself that this was real. She was real, and she was okay. We were both okay.

As I stood and hugged her close to me, closer than ever before, I made a promise to myself: never again. I tightened my grip. Hell would freeze over before I let Marty out of my sight again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Constructive criticism, shares, and kudos are appreciated. Much love <3


	2. That Annoying Fucking Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni gets stuck with Shelby fucking Goodkind and manages to fuck things up. Later, everyone tries to call for help and tragedy strikes.

The next couple of hours after I found Marty were a blur. We finally found everyone else–strangely, all of us had survived without getting banged up that bad, but the flight attendant and pilot were nowhere to be found. Not even their bodies washed up, but I guessed that wasn’t that weird. Tons of shit got swept out to sea.

The unconscious girl, Jeanette, eventually woke up, at which point we all fanned out along the beach. Some people hunted for supplies, some sat and stared at the water, and some just straight up passed out. I stayed glued to Marty’s side the whole time, telling her bad jokes and funny stories to distract her from our new reality and the pain in her ankle. If I was completely honest, though, it was just as much for me as it was for her. Looking out at the beach or the ocean or the other injured girls reminded me that we were  _ alone _ . Sure, maybe rescue would come for us, but there was no fucking way to know how long that would take. Or if it would come at all. There were too many unknowns, and thinking about them just messed with my head. Better to just shove it down with jokes and shit so it could sit somewhere I didn’t have to think about.

Eventually, everyone decided to reconvene at a rockier part of the beach. Might as well get to know each other instead of suffering in silence alone. At least, that’s probably everyone else thought. Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck about anyone else as long as I had Marty, but I tried to be nice for her sake.

Bitches like Rachel made that hard, though. “Hey, does anyone have a phone?” she demanded, glaring at everyone else.

“Don’t you think we would’ve said something if we did?” I snapped back. God, this girl got on my fucking nerves. She thought she was better than everyone just because she was a health freak and saw herself as some kind of super athlete. It had been funny on the plane when she was measuring her cake with her phone, but now it just pissed me off. Sure, she was dedicated to her sport–swimming, judging by the way Rachel said, “meet.” I could respect that; when I was on the team, basketball had been my life. What I couldn’t respect was how she treated her sister. Her fucking twin, no less. I had watched Nora follow Rachel around nervously when everyone was still scattered, and the way Rachel pushed her aside made my blood boil.

“I’m not even sure how many bars we’d get out here,” Dot said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“I’m just tryna think of lifelines, all right?” Rachel replied. “They’re gonna find us, but we can’t be stupid.”

Yeah, no shit.

“We should make a big-ass help sign, like in that movie  _ 28 Days Later … _ ” Dot suggested.

“What do you think happened to the flight attendant guy?” Marty chimed in randomly.

“We should be looking through suitcases, finding phones,” Rachel continued. “We can’t just–”

Shelby stood up. Oh, great. “Listen, listen, listen, y’all,” she interrupted with her stupid Southern drawl. She walked to the center of the group, and Rachel scoffed and sat down. “It’s the 21st century, okay?” Shelby continued with that annoying smile she always wore. “They will find us, but in the meantime, we gotta keep track of our resources.” She bent down and picked up two of the pop cans that had washed up. “Eight Cokes. Right now, that’s all we gotta drink, just eight of these. Okay? But don’t worry, ‘cause if God brought us to it, God will bring us through it.”

Of fucking course Shelby’s answer is “Jesus take the wheel.” Fucking ridiculous. “You know the whole ‘Jesus saves’ thing isn’t like, literal,” I said, laughing. “He’s not gonna jetpack down and pull us out of here.”

Shelby didn’t seem fazed. She just kept smiling. “No, Toni. Okay, the Lord saves those who save themselves, which is why I’m gonna take a look in the woods. See if there’s some freshwater.” She turned to me. “Maybe you should come with.”

She had to be joking, even if I didn’t get the feeling she was. “Hard pass.” I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone with her for more than five seconds.

I heard the sound of velcro ripping. “Shelby,” Marty said. I looked over and saw her taking off her shoes. “Here. If you’re really going, you gotta take these.” She held them out to her.

Another dazzling smile from Little Miss Ice Breaker. “You’re so generous,” she said, reaching up to take the shoes.

I looked back at her. If she was stupid enough to go hiking through the woods in nothing but flip-flops, I didn’t exactly trust her not to fall down a ditch and break her neck. The last thing we needed was a dead body to add to our problems, even if that body was Saint Shelby. “You know what? Maybe I will go. Make sure Christ doesn’t lead your ass into a fucking sinkhole.”

Someone chuckled. “Guys,” Dot announced. Everyone looked over and she held up a phone.

“What the hell, Dot?” Rachel said. 

I laughed with everyone else. Leave it to Dot to have something that could save our asses and not even know.

“I’m sorry! Look, I was saving her ass, okay?” Dot pointed to Jeanette, who sat silently on the edge of the circle with Fatin.

“Does it work?” Blue Eyes, aka Leah, asked quietly. I’d almost forgotten she was sitting above me and Marty.

Dot pressed a button and tapped the screen. “No, I think it’s busted from the water.”

“Does anyone have a spare bag of rice?” I joked, making some of the other girls chuckle.

“Um, we could maybe bury it.” This came from Nora, who was sitting on Marty’s other side. This was the first time I’d heard her talk, and I could practically hear her anxiety. “The sand could pull out the water enough to make it work.”

No one said anything. They were probably too fucking surprised that Nora had said anything.

After a moment, Dot shrugged. “Not like anyone has any better ideas.” She stood up and walked back to the sand. Everyone started following her, so I helped Marty limp over. Dot sat down and dug a small hole. “It got real wet,” she said, throwing the phone in. “You honestly think sand will dry it out?”

“I read an article on the Internet about alternatives to rice in a bag,” Nora replied. “Sand was mentioned.”

Dot sighed. “Yeah, well, good enough for me.” She buried the phone and stuck a nearby twig in the sand to mark it.

We all stood and stared at the phone, thinking about how we were so close to getting out of this place. That is if Nora’s sand thing worked. It better fucking work. I could not wait to get home and put this whole damn thing behind me.

“All right, then,” Shelby announced after a while. She turned to me and grinned. “Better get a move on, partner.”

I frowned. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“We’re goin’ to find water, remember? You said you would come to make sure Christ didn’t lead me into a sinkhole.”

I smirked at how she left out a few choice words from that remark. Of course the good little Christian girl didn’t curse. She probably had a swear jar on her desk that was just as empty as the day she bought it. “Sure, whatever. Give me a sec.” 

I looked around and saw some relatively flat rocks a few steps away. I led Marty over and helped her sit down. “Are you okay if I go?”

Marty smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

I squeezed her hand. “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

I stood up and walked over to Shelby. “Ready when you are, partner,” I said, adding a fake Southern accent to the last word.

Shelby shook her head. “Real funny.” She nodded at Martha. “She doin’ okay?”

“It’s not really any of your business, but she’s fine.”

She laughed. “All right, then. But since we’re going to be alone for a while, we might as well get to know some of each other’s business.”

I scoffed, but I was smiling a little. “Good luck with that.”

Shelby grinned at me over her shoulder. I swear, this girl never stopped fucking smiling. “Challenge accepted.”

Sure enough, Shelby kept asking me the stupidest fucking ice breaker questions she could think of as we walked. Even though I only gave her sarcastic and sometimes downright insulting answers, she didn’t seem to care. Her Sally Sunshine attitude was definitely annoying–really fucking annoying–but sometimes I caught myself smiling. I kind of wanted to see how far I could push her until she snapped. That would be fucking hilarious. And I guess it was nice to have someone to go back and forth with, even if that someone was as unbearable as Shelby Goodkind. That was her actual name–Goodkind. She told it to me as part of one of her stupid questions. Not that I asked or cared. Shalifoe was a way better last name anyway. 

We reached a hill with a crap ton of those tall, fuzzy plants and started climbing. “Keep your ears peeled,” Shelby told me. “You’ll hear moving water before you see it.”

“How come you know all this?” I asked.

“This may surprise you, but I’m not just some delicate indoor princess, okay? I go hunting with my dad all the time.”

It was hard to imagine a pretty, do-no-wrong Christian girl slaughtering animals for fun. “So, you do one hard-core thing? That doesn’t mean you’re not mostly an indoor princess.” I smirked. “How many pillows do you have on your bed?”

Shelby didn’t answer, for once.

“Bet you’ve got one of those mega-beds with, like, 50 pillows. And your maid, Lupe, she’s gotta keep taking ‘em off and putting ‘em back on and it’s making her want to off herself, am I right? You know I’m right.”

Shelby started turning around, and I made sure to stop smiling before she did. “Yeah, well, I’ve also shot down a ten-point buck, snapped his neck to finish the job, and butchered him in the field all by myself. God built us to contain multitudes, Toni.” She put her hands on my shoulders and nudged me back. “Now, can you turn around? ‘Cause I have to pee.”

She pushed my shoulder again, and I turned around. “Plug your ears,” she said.

I looked back at her. Was she serious?

She was. “Plug your ears, or I’ll have to sing.”

I didn’t move. She started pulling down her shorts, so I turned away, but I still didn’t cover my ears.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path,” Shelby sang.

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” I muttered. I was listening to a girl sing church songs while peeing in the middle of a field. This was rock fucking bottom.

“Hey, I told you I was gonna sing if you didn’t cover your ears,” Shelby said. “Not my fault you didn’t listen.”

“Whatever.”

Shelby finally stood up. “All right. Let’s keep looking.”

I waited for the inevitable series of questions she was going to hit me with, but it never came. I thought it would be nice to finally get some peace, but I found myself wishing she would say something. I had no idea what suddenly made her shut up, but I had a feeling I was the reason. I was usually the one to fuck things up. Maybe I did or said something to upset her? I thought back to what I had said, but nothing jumped out at me as offensive. Except for the pillow thing, maybe, but she hadn’t seemed bothered by it at the time.

As we went on, the silence began to press in on me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. “I bet we’ll get rich once they find us,” I remarked, brushing my hand over one of the fuzzy plants. “Suing for damages or whatever. Not that your ass needs the money.”

Shelby shushed me. “Keep listenin’ for water.”

So that’s why she’d been so quiet. At least it wasn’t me this time. Not that I was worried or anything.

I waited for a whole five seconds before I broke the silence again. “I’m so sick of looking at your fucking ponytail. I feel like it thinks it’s better than me.”

Shelby sighed. “Then how ‘bout you go in front?” she said with a hint of exasperation in her voice. I guessed I was finally wearing her down, but that didn’t make me feel as good as I’d thought it would.

“Fine.” I took the lead. I had no idea what to say next, so I stayed quiet and listened for water like she told me to. 

Shelby had other plans. “Lord, in Your mercy, grant us water so that we may drink,” she prayed. “Lord, in Your mercy, grant us water so that we may drink.”

Jesus fucking Christ. If she was going to do that the entire time we were out here, I would push her down this fucking hill. 

I whirled around. “Weren’t you just telling me to shut up and listen?” I snapped.

“It’s different.” She gave me that annoying fucking smile again. “When you pray, God opens your senses.”

I scoffed. “God’s such a joke. Don’t you know He’s just a brainwashing tool designed to enslave the masses?”

Shelby shrugged. “Even if He were just a ‘brainwashing tool,’ d’you ever think maybe your brain could use a good”–she looked me up and down–” scrub?”

That did it. I’d had enough of her Southern, goody-two-shoes church bullshit for one day. “Fuck off.”

I turned and kept walking, and Shelby kept praying: “Lord, in Your mercy, grant us water so that we may drink.”

I was ready to fucking scream. If I had to listen to that goddamn prayer one more time–

“Lord, in Your mercy, grant us–”

I grabbed a branch in front of me and shoved it back as hard as I could.

“Ah!”

I turned just in time to see her fall. Oh fuck. “Fuck, fuck! Shelby!” I slid down the hill after her, going as fast as I could without tripping. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucking did it again. I came out here to look after her and instead I went and shoved her down a fucking ditch. Fuck, what if I really hurt her? What if she broke her leg or got a concussion or some shit? Damn it, how could I be so fucking stupid?

Luckily, the ditch wasn’t that deep, so she didn’t fall too far and I caught up to her pretty quickly. I crouched down beside her. “Shit, I swear I didn’t mean to …” I trailed off when I spotted blood on the side of her head. Fuck. Fuck!

“It’s all right,” Shelby said, but I could tell she was rattled. I reached out to help her, but she flinched away. Fuck.

She stood up and backed away a little. I swallowed hard. I wanted–no, needed to apologize, but I couldn’t find the words. “Hey, I …” Shit, what do I say?

“Go ahead and go on back,” Shelby cut me off. My heart sank when she didn’t smile. “I will too, but you should get a head start. I’d really rather walk alone.”

The last part hit me like a punch in the gut. Every part of me was screaming to stay, that it was a bad idea to just leave her here, but I started hiking back up the hill. She didn’t want me around, and I didn’t blame her. I looked back to check on her again, but she’d already turned away.

The trek back to the beach was too quiet without Shelby. She was fucking irritating, but she was better than being left alone with my thoughts. I hoped she was okay. The cut on her head didn’t look too bad, but she could have still gotten a concussion if she hit her head hard enough. I groaned and ran my hands over my face. What if Marty got mad at me? She was really attached to Shelby for some reason. Plus, Shelby and Dot were the only ones who had any idea of what they were doing out here. What if we all died because she got hurt?

The walk back was shorter than I thought, and before long I saw Dot, Leah, Jeanette, Nora, and Marty sitting together in a circle. I couldn’t see where Rachel and Fatin were. Dot was holding what looked like mini bottles of alcohol. “You get a mini, and you get a mini, and you get a mini,” she said as she passed them out.

“Hey, you guys partying without me?” I asked, faking a smile.

Marty smiled back, which did make me feel a little better. “You’re back. Did you find any water?”

I shook my head. “No.” Don’t ask about Shelby, don’t ask about Shelby, don’t ask about–

“Where’s Shelby?”

Fuck.

My throat went dry. I swallowed. “Uh, I …”

Marty looked past me. “Shelby,” she called. Her smile stretched even wider.

I looked back. Sure enough, Shelby came out of the brush, wiping the cut on her head. She must have waited for me to head back before following behind. I was glad she hadn’t kept going on her own.

“Yeah, she’s right there,” I said, but Marty didn’t seem to hear me. She stood up and limped past me to Shelby. I tried to ignore the pang in my heart. She barely smiled at me when I came back, but for Shelby, she was going to get up and walk while her ankle was all fucked up?

Marty’s eyes widened when she saw the blood. “Your head.”

I braced myself for Shelby to tell her what I did. “Oh, it’s fine.” Shelby waved her away. I noticed her smile was back, too. “Ran smack into a tree, if you can believe.”

Wait, what?

Shelby looked straight at me. “Yeah. Very silly of me.”

I stared at her. Her green eyes held mine, unflinching, but I couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. My best guess was that she was biding her time to get back at me. I made a mental note not to be alone with her near a ditch.

“Hey!’ Rachel yelled from the other end of the beach. She held up Dot’s phone. “Hey, the phone’s working!”

Everyone buzzed with excitement and started running over. I reached out to help Marty, but she leaned on Shelby instead. I moved to her other side, but she didn’t even look at me. It was like I was fucking invisible.

We all gathered in a big circle. Somehow I ended up next to Shelby, and Martha was between Leah and Fatin. “Listen, we have to be strategic,” Rachel said. We only have one bar and almost zero battery life left. Every second counts.”

“May I just say, I am  _ ready _ to make the call, okay?” Shelby cut in. “My aunt is a 911 operator, and I–”

“No, 911 is out,” Rachel interrupted. “It doesn’t work in every country, and we don’t even know where we are. So if we’re closer to, like, Japan, 911 is useless.”

“Japan’s emergency number is 119,” Nora chimed in.

"Look, we only have to get in contact with one person, so I want you all to have someone in mind, make sure you know their number, and make sure they love you enough that they’re waiting by the phone right now,” Rachel continued.

Well, that was easy. The only people who cared about me were Marty and her parents, and I didn’t know their numbers.

Rachel went first, but her fingers hesitated over the screen. Nora frowned. “You’re not calling Mom and Dad?” she asked.

“They’re in Morocco. They probably don’t even know yet,” Rachel replied. Her fingers twitched. “I’m calling Coach.”

Nora freaked the fuck out. “No, no, not her,” she said, grabbing the phone. Rachel yelled at her to give it back, but she twisted away. “I’m calling Dad’s cell.” She continued to fight Rachel off. “You just can’t call Coach! You can’t call her!”

Some of the girls leaned forward like they wanted to intervene, but the line beeped dead. Nora gasped and stared at the phone. “Great job,” Rachel sneered as Nora hit the side of the phone.

“Did you dial it right?” Marty asked.

“Of course I did!” Nora snapped. Jesus.

“Do you mind?” Shelby reached over and grabbed the phone. Nora tried to take it back, but Shelby turned away. “If I know Dave and JoBeth Goodkind, they’re pacing holes in the carpet right now.”

Nora wrung her hands and we all watched Shelby dial. She pressed the phone to her ear but put it back down again after a few seconds. She frowned. “Well, that’s–that’s just strange. Uh, let me real quick try my boyfriend.”

“Don’t bother. Andrew’s probably dick deep in Christa Findlay by now,” Dot said.

Well, shit. Shelby glared at Dot while the rest of us just stared. I glanced at Shelby. Annoying or not, she didn’t deserve to have a cheating boyfriend. No one did. But as bad as I felt for her, she was wasting battery life.

I took the phone and passed it to Martha. “Go, Marty.” At least I didn’t have to waste time calling someone. Besides, Marty’s parents would definitely pick up. They had to.

I held my breath as she dialed, and my face fell when she put down the phone a few seconds later. Her face scrunched up like she was about to cry. “It didn’t work,” she said. 

My stomach flipped, but luckily there wasn’t any food left for me to vomit. If Marty’s parents didn’t answer, then it was hopeless. No one was coming for us.

Everyone started talking over each other as Fatin took the phone and walked away. I leaned over and nudged Marty. “Why didn’t your mom pick up?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“Marty, your mom is always by the phone, she always has it on. I don’t understand.”

“I don’t know, Toni,” she said with more force than usual. “The line didn’t even ring.”

"What the fuck do you mean, the line didn’t ring?” 

“It didn’t ring, Toni! I couldn’t get through!” she yelled.

“Bullshit! You probably didn’t dial it right!”

“Well, what about you? You didn’t even try to call anyone!”

“Who the fuck am I going to call, Marty? No one would pick up the damn phone!”

“Your basketball teammates, Regan, your foster family, you’re seriously telling me no one would pick up? You could have at least tried instead of putting everything on me!”

We kept yelling at each other, but I wasn’t even registering what we were saying anymore. Dot came over to try and mediate, but I just yelled at her too. How the fuck could Marty say that to me? My foster family didn’t even notice that I slept on a truck bed in a field for 6 months; there was no way they would pick up, and she knew that. I didn’t have my teammates’ numbers memorized, and Regan … well, she would hang up as soon as she heard it was me.

We kept arguing until Fatin interrupted: “It’s ringing.”

Everyone went quiet, waiting anxiously as the phone rang. I couldn’t believe that Fatin was our last hope of getting out of here. She smiled a little, but before she said anything else, someone yelled, “Guys!”

I turned. It was Leah, and she sounded panicked. She was kneeling over Jeanette, who had collapsed and wasn’t moving. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, the same as when I couldn’t find Marty after we washed up.

“Fuck!” Fatin yelled behind me. “It’s dead.”

Somehow I felt that Leah’s news was going to be much, much worse. Her blue eyes were as wide as when I first found her floating in the water. “She … she’s dead.”

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Sorry the summary for this one is so bad lol. Constructive criticism, shares, and kudos are appreciated. Much love <3


	3. Dirty Little Freaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni attends her second ever funeral and everyone tries to make the best of their shitty situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Toni hasn't canonly been to a funeral, but I have a headcanon that she went to her grandmother's when she was a kid (based on a fic where Toni lived with her grandmother for a short time until she died). Also, during the never have I ever scene, Toni says Leah didn't drink even though she did on the show. This is because she drank after everyone else and it looked like only Fatin was paying attention.

The sun was setting by the time we figured out what to do with Jeanette. Someone–Dot, maybe–found some kind of tarp for us to carry her body. Everyone took a side except for Leah, who was still in shock, and Shelby, who hung back to keep an eye on her. Even Marty insisted on helping, despite her banged-up ankle. That was mostly for her own peace of mind, though; better to carry Jeanette away than walk behind everyone and have no choice but to look at her. She never took that kind of stuff well.

Despite our slow pace and frequent stops–carrying a body is harder than you’d think, even without one of us limping–we finally found a spot for Jeanette’s grave. Nora, Fatin, Marty, and I dug it out while the others lowered her down. To say it was sad was an understatement; it was depressing as fuck. I looked down at Jeanette. Even with the blood around her mouth, she looked somewhat peaceful. Probably more peaceful than any of us would be until we got out of here. Still made my blood run cold, though. All I could think when I saw her was that if rescue didn’t come for us soon, we could all end up like that.

“I don’t get why we have to bury her,” Rachel said. “They’re gonna come for us soon, then we’ll have to dig her right back up.”

“It’s only temporary,” Dot answered. Her voice shook a little. “Just to keep the animals away.”

And it was the decent fucking thing to do. When someone dies, you don’t just leave them there. Unless you’re some kind of psycho, which I guess Rachel was. Besides, who would want to sleep with a rotting corpse by our camp? Not me.

Everyone was quiet, and I had the feeling they were thinking something similar.

“Shouldn’t somebody say a few words?” Shelby asked.

Dot shrugged. “Sounds like you’re volunteering.”

Shelby’s signature smile made a brief appearance. “Well, I am an ordained youth minister.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Even now, this girl couldn’t go five minutes without talking about God or church or faith.

Shelby closed her eyes and folded her hands. “Lord, thank you for the gift of Jeanette. We didn’t know her real well, but she had a really bright spirit, and because she was made in Your image, we can be sure that she was beautiful.” She swallowed. “Amen.”

“Amen,” some of the other girls repeated, including me. I didn’t believe in that church shit, but it felt wrong not to.

Now we had to actually bury her, but no one moved. We were all frozen, staring at Jeanette's body. I wondered what the others were thinking. I glanced at Martha, who looked like she was about to cry. I wanted to comfort her, but my feet were stuck. I couldn’t move even if I tried.

Next to me, Leah cleared her throat softly. “Right, right, turn off the lights, we’re gonna lose our minds tonight. What’s the dealio?” she sang quietly.

Everyone stared at her. She wasn’t just in shock, she had gone off the fucking deep end. 

Leah swallowed. “I think she liked P!nk,” she said.

“Y-yeah, she did,” Nora agreed.

Leah nodded and took a deep breath. “Party crasher, penny snatcher,” she continued.

We all joined in. “Call me up if you a gangster. Don’t get fancy, just get dancy. Why so serious?”

We all knelt, piling sand on top of Jeanette as we sang. It was nice–way better than the songs they played at my grandma’s funeral–but it was still one of the creepiest fucking things I had ever heard. I was sure that song was going to haunt my nightmares. 

We finished burying her, and we marked her grave with some dry grass and some little shells in the shape of a J. Marty found some flowers nearby and tied them into a mini bouquet, which she put under the J. It was probably the best grave you could hope for on a deserted island.

Eventually, we made our way back to where we had set up camp. It started getting cold, so Dot and Rachel gathered some driftwood and started a fire. We all sat around it, but no one spoke. My thoughts drifted to Jeanette as I stared at the flames. That could have easily been any one of us. Fuck, that could have been Marty. Actually, based on what Marty said happened after the crash, it almost was her. Hell, it could have been Shelby too after I shoved her down the ditch. If rescue didn’t show up soon, I had no idea how the fuck we were going to survive out here. I mean, I’ve lived hard, but not this hard.

“I’m gonna swim out to the plane tomorrow,” Rachel said. She had been doing some kind of plank exercise for the past 15 minutes or so, and she didn’t even look like she’d broken a sweat. Fucking crazy. “See if I can find anything. Might be a radio or a callbox or something.”

“I’ll come with you,” Leah said.

Rachel paused, but nodded and went back to her planks.

The rest of us went back to shivering. Well, except for Fatin, who had pulled a fuzzy pink sweater out of her suitcase and zipped it up. Damn rich kids. She was the only one who’s luggage had washed up; Dot had found it earlier in the day.

“How’s your stuff so dry?” Marty asked.

Fatin gestured at the suitcase. “My parents bought me this … watertight, $1,000 suitcase for this trip. They thought it would, like, sweeten the deal.” She shook her head. “Fucktards.”

Yeah, they were definitely fucktards for dropping more money than I’d ever seen in my life on a fucking suitcase and sending you on a retreat in Hawaii. Real assholes.

Fatin blinked. “Sorry,” she said. She reached into her suitcase and tossed Martha a dark pink sweatshirt

“Hey, let me get one,” Dot said.

Fatin threw her one, and then passed out sweaters to anyone else who needed them. She handed me a dark blue towel and I draped it over my shoulders.

Dot pulled on her sweatshirt and read the front: ‘more issues than Vogue.’ She sighed. “This is my rock bottom.”

A moment passed before Shelby said, “So … would it be crazy if I suggested a little … ice breaker?” She looked around. “Never have I ever feels … right.”

I smirked. Little Miss Ice Breaker strikes again. But what the hell, playing didn’t sound so bad. I would take any distraction at this point. “All right.” I looked straight at her. “Only if you go first. None of those bullshit, lightweight answers. Give us the real.”

Shelby didn’t back down. “Fine. Never have I ever had vaginal penetrative intercourse.”

That didn’t surprise me. Everyone else took a drink from the mini bottles Dot handed out earlier except for Marty and Leah. Even Nora, which was unexpected. “So that’s why your boyfriend’s a cheat?” I said before I could stop myself. I felt a little bad, but I didn’t let it show.

“He’s not a cheat,” Shelby replied. 

I didn’t answer and took a sip.

“Glad I’m not the only one.” Marty laughed nervously. “I would’ve felt so stupid.”

“Get out of here,” Shelby said. She smiled at Martha and rested her hand on her knee. “It takes guts to save yourself, you know that?”

I rolled my eyes. Just one more thing for them to bond over, I guess.

“All right,” Dot said. “Never have I ever … had a threesome.”

Only Fatin drank.

“With two guys, not two girls,” Dot added.

Fatin drank again.

“On my period."

I was about to lose my shit when she raised the bottle. “I mean, I’m not a freak,” she said, putting it down.

We laughed a little. She may not have been a freak, but she was definitely freaky.

“All right, I got one,” Rachel said. “Never have I ever … thrown my own piss at someone.” She looked right at me.

Everyone else looked around, confused. Rachel was a real hardass, but I had to admit that was well played. I fought back a grin, but I didn’t move.

I probably would have gotten away with it if Marty hadn’t said, “Drink up, Toni.”

Everyone looked at me. I grinned. “With pride, motherfuckers.” I drank and the rest of the girls cracked up.

We kept playing until the fire started burning itself out. We didn’t have any more wood on hand and no one wanted to go get some, so we just let it die. We were all getting pretty tired, too. Marty yawned first, then Shelby, then Fatin. 

“Maybe we should turn in for the night,” Dot suggested. “We should probably get an early start tomorrow. Make as much use of the daylight we have.”

We all agreed. Fatin dug through her suitcase and found a few more towels to use as blankets. We all spread out on the sand. Shelby finally moved somewhere else, so I made my way over to Martha. “Hey,” I said.

“Hi.” She scooted over and I sat next to her.

I nudged her. “You doing okay?”

She shrugged, staring at what was left of the fire.

I swallowed and licked my lips. She was probably still mad at me from earlier. “Hey, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was just …” I shook my head. “I don’t know. Scared, I guess. Anyways, I’m sorry I took it out on you. That was pretty shitty.”

She nodded. “Yeah, it was. But I yelled at you, too, so it’s not entirely your fault.” She looked at me and gave me a small smile. “I’m sorry, Toni.”

I  grinned back. “Hey, it’s all good.” I put my arm around her and she nestled into me. “We’ve still got each other, right?”

“Yeah.” She wrapped her arms around me as best she could. “Of course.”

I hugged her back, clutching her to my chest. “Then we’ll be okay,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I rubbed her back. “We’ll be okay.”

We stayed like that for a while until I felt my eyelids getting heavier. I  leaned down and looked at Marty, who looked like she could doze off at any minute. “Ready for bed?” I asked, chuckling.

She nodded, and we spread two of Fatin’s towels out on the sand. I curled up behind Marty and held her in my arms, just like I did at her house when the nightmares were too much for her to handle. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine that I was there right now instead of on some deserted island in the middle of nowhere. And sure enough, as I drifted off, that fucking P!nk song swirled around in my head:  _ So raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways, all my underdogs. We will never be, never be anything but loud, and nitty-gritty dirty little freaks ... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that brings us to the end. I think I could work on my endings in the future, but overall I'm really proud of this fic. There will probably be 10 fics in this series–one for every episode, but I'm not sure yet–and they'll all probably be as long as this one. I hope you guys enjoyed and will enjoy the rest of the series. If anything seems out of character in any chapter, please let me know. Constructive criticism, shares, and kudos are appreciated. Much love <3


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